Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
