Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize