He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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