he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
