Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
