I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
do herpes really smell.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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