it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
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