She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize