Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
