You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I will be naked everywhere
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
