I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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