my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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