You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
