Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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