I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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