i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
