I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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