Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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