Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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