Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
