is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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