Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
