So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize