Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
