he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
