three words: i give head
three words: not that well
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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