i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
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Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
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Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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