I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
