I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
