Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's never too late to be topless.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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