I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
