Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
