He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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