i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
