You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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