Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
