1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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