tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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