Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
