wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
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he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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