Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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