is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
