I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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