Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
