She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
