omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
