I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
