bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize