Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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