I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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