i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
