ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
