i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
