Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
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He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips