News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again