i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.