There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob