We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Do vagina's smell?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
